Mommy Moment…
As your kids grow you have different stages of mothering. When they are itty-bitty, you carry them. As toddlers, they hold your hand. Soon they are allowed to walk alone beside you. Each stage takes you a little closer to the time when they will be independent from you. It can be difficult for a mommy’s heart to let each stage happen naturally.
Danielle attended public school for kindergarten, First and Second grades. She excelled there and made friends with everyone. Someone should have prepared me for the day one of those friends invited her over for a birthday party and sleep over. I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t thought about that situation. Curt and I hadn’t discussed what we would do when that situation arose.
I didn’t want to hurt the heart of either girl, but I knew nothing of the birthday girl’s family. Danielle was so excited about the prospects of staying with a friend. I was horrified at the thought of her being stuck in a home that may or may not be safe for her. This was years before cell phones! I have a great deal of faith but trusting my little daughter’s safety and wellbeing with total strangers went well beyond my level of faith.
I remember the panic that shot through my heart when my sweet daughter read the invitation to me and waited expectantly for my answer. I bought a little time by saying I wanted to talk with Dad. She happily waited.
The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became. Curt wasn’t comfortable either. I was fervently praying and trying to come up with a solution that wouldn’t hurt Danielle’s heart.
God helped me explain to Danielle that we were happy to buy a gift and let to go to the party for an hour or hour and a half. I would go in with her to meet the family and tell her friend happy birthday, but she would not stay overnight, because we didn’t know the family. We talked quite a bit about the situation. She was ok with our decision and totally understood our reasoning.
Sweet Mommy, teaching your child to look at a social situation and decide if it is a safe place for them is a VITAL skill. As they become more and more independent from you, they have to be able to assess a situation. They have to learn to stand up for themselves. Looking at a peer group and saying, “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.” might one day save their life. Teach them when they are little. Talk to them calmly. Prepare them. Help them discern whether a situation is safe, if it’s a good idea, and if it is something they are comfortable with. Then…pray like mad that God will watch over them.
Mommy, you got this!
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