Mommy Moment…
I struggle with unworthiness. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s been my struggle for years. Truly I have to fight those feelings even now as a 50+ year old woman. I know that Jesus paid a great price for my salvation. I never question that. My struggle is here… on the earth. I’m sure it is a spiritual battle. I do try my best to fight it there, by praying to and praising God. But to be truthful, it is still a fight. The enemy likes to sneak up and attack at unexpected times.
My struggle shows up in strange ways. As a child, I hated to ask for things from my parents. In my little mind, they were too busy to care to hear what I needed. From there, I began to feel like no one cared. And then, it became… I’m not worthy for anyone to care about. --What a painful place to be.
While it is true, my childhood had its challenges, God has always been good to me. I have to be careful not to slide back into that false thinking and allowing those old negative emotions to pull me into the lies of unworthiness.
As a mommy, I didn’t want my kids to have my struggles. I did my best to help them see themselves the way God sees them. I didn’t always get it right, but I did always try to point them back to God.
That’s the important thing. They (I) need to connect with God. Our world will lie to all of us and drag us into the mire of depression, confusion, hopelessness, and pain. Right now, I see it happening to so very many sweet children. It absolutely breaks my heart. Girls who don’t feel loved, so they are willing to do pretty much anything to get the attention of a male… any male. Boys who feel lost and unsure of themselves who buy the lie that they aren’t masculine enough. The lies are many and oh so ugly. It's a viscous attack.
How do we help them? How do we help them see truth, and to hold firm to that truth?
For me, I have to remember that Satan is real, and he is my enemy. He will tell me ANY lie or do anything in an effort to keep me from God and from His love and truth.
Its important to teach our littles that emotions are easily swayed, but that the truth of God never changes. I don't think they can fight the battles that they are thrown into without the security that comes from knowing that God is real and He sees them as valuable… valuable enough to die for.
Yes, bad things happen, but they happen because of the enemy, not because God wants bad things to happen.
All of the negative events of my past could have driven me away from God. The pain and the hurt could have settled into my heart and made me bitter and angry, but I understood a little bit about the battle. My limited understanding was just enough that I could see that Satan was my enemy, and God was on my side. That bit of truth was enough for my little heart to hold on to when I was teased, forgotten, unwanted and left out. But my emotions still ran toward unworthiness. That’s why I think we have to help our kids see the battle. Satan is fighting to keep them away from the truth of God.
Jesus taught about the battle. The New Testament even warns us that we need God’s armor. But it isn’t enough just to put on our own armor. We have to help our kids “suit up” as well. If they can see that they are in a real battle, a fight for their soul, I think it will help them stand strong. It will help them feel worthy and dearly loved.
I missed that part when I was a child. I still get caught in those ugly feelings at times. But God is bigger than my fear… my feelings… and my enemy. Jesus died to help us see just how valuable we are to Him.
I don’t mean to preach at anyone… well, maybe myself. I need to hear this just as much as anyone.
You are dearly loved. You are precious. God wants to walk with you… and your kids.
Mommy, You got this!!
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